by Matt Nuth

Some time ago, I read a friend’s book challenging us to consider it a blessing when we come to acknowledge we don’t know everything.  Personally, it is difficult for me to consider that I might be wrong about things I previously thought I had known to be true.  At first, the idea that I do not know something I know seemed trite and silly, but after some consideration, it made a lot of sense.  It left me humbled, but soon the humility was replaced by a euphoric feeling of refreshment and release.  Too often, I find myself defending a position, not because I completely understand it, or because I think it is important, but, rather, because it is mine.  It is something I have become vested in and that I feel compelled to defend otherwise I might appear arrogant, less learned, less capable, or less wise.  It is fatiguing… and quite frankly, left me blind to numerous potentials.   

My friend’s message was intended for all of us, but his comments could have easily been focused strictly on me; they were that spot on.  I am one of those individuals who read Socrates’ “The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing,” and nodded in agreement, even quoted it, and yet never internalized it.  Not that my friend is on the level with Socrates, but he did finally get through to me that it is exactly the knowledge that we don’t know that makes our life free and makes learning possible.  

When this concept is applied to faith, I think some of the true magnificence of the Lord opens itself to us.  Not knowing, not having some preconceived idea of what Scripture says, enables us to build on our previous understandings, sure, but it also allows us to see the words as if they are brand new to us.  It allows the Holy Spirit to work within us so that we might read those words in the context of what hand life is dealing us today.  In that sense, I expect to learn something new every time I read the Good Book.  

It is like listening to a live, great symphony performance.  The basic notes never change, but the interpretation always does.  And the Lord is the most magnificent composer and musician ever.  If we allow him, he will open our eyes to new things every day.  Perhaps when Jesus tells us “…unless one is born again he cannot enter the kingdom of God…” he is also telling us that our minds must be completely open, unencumbered by the prejudices and knowledge we acquire as we grow, so that we can receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.   I no longer try to prove my Lord to others… or to myself.  I can just believe and open myself to the new learnings Scripture provides me each time I read it.  And since I attempt to read it now from the perspective of not knowing, new things hit me just about every time I open the book.

It is odd how we feel we must know things, control conversations, master topics as if we are lords of knowledge when we know in our hearts, it is all a charade.  The more we profess to know, the less open we are to truth… the less we are open to the Holy Spirit.  We become consumed with “knowing” what God wants, rather than being open to wherever God takes us. 

Personally, I am “in development” on this – that’s a euphemism for saying I stink at it, but I am improving.   My new challenge is to pick something I “know” in scripture each month and to put aside my notions so that I might better hear what God is trying to get me to hear.  I don’t know where this will take me, but it is nice knowing that wherever that might be, it will be God, not me, leading the way.