Ever have a question rattle around for years inside your mind and soul? An unanswered musing that doesn’t seem to ever find resolution. It can be as inconsequential as a freckle on your skin being just a shade darker than the others, yet you’re drawn to stare at it and wonder “why does that freckle have to stand out so much?!”.

Then on a seemingly normal day, just like any other, God sets the answer at your feet just as casually and without fanfare as getting out of bed and putting on your slippers to cross a cold floor.

Of course, I’ll wear the slippers.

Of course, that’s the answer.

Well!!

The ‘old me’ would have been annoyed by the delay! Readied with petty complaint and childlike tantrum over God taking so long to answer.

Of course, it only seems casually answered.

Of course, it only seems like unexplained timing, seemed sudden.

Because see … God’s wisdom and prudence are far greater than mine!

So, what was the question?

For me and many of us, it is most often the question of ‘why’? A question that often relates to a complaint of some kind. The question of why? comes mostly from others I mentor. It is often the ‘why me?’ followed by various complaints about life’s circumstances: the job, the relationship, money, car stuff, children, parents, school and so forth.

What is a ‘complaint’ anyways?

Complaint: a statement that a situation is unsatisfactory or unacceptable; an illness or medical condition, especially a relatively minor one.

This question of WHY!!?? can often be accompanied by a barrage of complaints with the inclusion of blame, disdain, anger, and resentment towards God. I’ve gathered quite a toolbox of spiritual answers, wisdom and advice for these situations when I’m helping another with their frustrations or trying to even ease my own negative thinking back to joy. But I knew something was missing. Holding on tight to practice kindness when listening to these woes from a mentee can be challenging, so I’ve been sending up prayers for God’s wisdom to reach me so that I can more competently assist them, comfort them, and help ease their worries.

I knew the answer related to suffering and I knew it often related to suffering manifested by unanswered expectations. I have lost count of the number of times I’ve shared the famous quote: ‘southern women are bred to keep our expectations low, so we’re never disappointed’. I’m never perfect at not having expectations, but I weaved the spirit of this quote into my life a long time ago and the occasions of complaint resulting from unmet expectations are rare.

I also knew that many passages in the bible were helpful, especially this one from Romans:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. -Romans 5:3-5

What was God’s answer? What was His divinely inspired ‘Gibbs bop’ to the back of my head?

Well, I queued up the next online course in my path dashboard and the topic was “The Suffering Leader”. With a bit of furrowed brow and curiosity, I just figured it was going to similarly relate to endurance producing character as noted in Romans. While I’ve enjoyed all my courses and topics so far, the intensity with which I was drawn in to listen to this one was quite different.

The instructor was sharing about how we (humans): “expect miracles, expect comfort, expect praise, expect encouragement, expect riches, expect health, expect life to be easy” … what we should expect? “We should expect to suffer. We should want it. Embrace it and rejoice in it. Become rejoicers! Not complainers!” (Pastor Francis Chan)

Jesus promised this: (Matthew 5:11-12) [11] Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. [12] Rejoice and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

There I was listening, taking notes, feverishly trying to really hear every word and I paused Pastor Chan. The simplicity of it all. That’s it. That solution to the question of just how do I help mentor others to find their way to a lighter heart, brighter day, find joy somehow?

Of course, it’s that we’re meant to suffer.

Of course, it’s expected and we shouldn’t be surprised or upset by it.

and . . . Of course, it’s something we should want! We should rejoice in the fellowship with Christ suffering gives us. Rejoice in suffering as He suffered!

I had been struggling to articulate this belief within me that suffering was part of ‘the deal’. It was necessary, expected and an intricate part of the foundation of one that Walks with Christ. I have the words now.

And . . . not so sudden. not late or an answer from God held back.

Of course, the answer was always right there waiting for me. Right there in the Word of God, on the pages of my bible. Written long before I was breathed into life. Long before the woes, sorrows, grief and shame of my southern bayou-girl upbringing. The answer was always there.

24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. 28 Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Of course, it’ll also be a fine line to dance on to be able to share this, share the power of this message, but to do so WITHOUT belittling their pain. So, I’ll be doubling down on the kindness I arm my words with, tripling the love fueled into the guidance I’m honored to be asked to give and, as divinely as humanly possible, remain studious in my endeavors to deepen my competence on this matter.

My walk was also lighter today. I found myself rejoicing in the slow pace of my aged knees and dragged feet, found myself smiling thru the achy lingering of an arthritic flareup, and found myself ecstatic to be on this journey of attaining my spiritual dreams.

Prayer: Lord, may I be counted worthy to suffer for you. May I please share and have that fellowship of suffering with you. May I feel some of that betrayal, my Lord. May I know that I’m for real and your Spirit really rests within me. May I know the suffering you endured for me and rejoice in it. Lord, guide my petty heart to the joy of salvation by suffering as you suffered. Overwhelm me with divine gratitude for your grace. Amen.